Childhood depression

What is childhood depression? 

Depression is one of the most common mental illnesses. According to NHS Digital, around 2.1% of five to 19-year-olds have depression. Older children were found to be more likely to experience depression, with around 0.3% of children aged 5-10, 2.7% of those aged 11-16, and 4.8% of those aged 17-19 having a depressive disorder. Affecting both boys and girls in similar numbers before the age of 12, by their mid-teens, it is more than twice as common in girls as it is in boys. 

While depression may be more common in older teens, depression can affect anyone, at any age, of any ethnicity, from any social background. The earlier you seek help and support, the better.

Depression and anxiety can have similar symptoms, and can occur at the same time. There are times when we may expect children or teens to feel sad or worried, like when an exam is coming up. It's when they feel like this every day that it can be a sign of depression.

Counsellor and therapist Zara Kadir shares the signs of depression and anxiety in children. Find out more about how counselling can help:

If you think your child is depressed, it’s important to seek help. Without support, depression can get worse over time and can negatively affect them. It can leave children feeling socially isolated or hopeless. Accessing support can help avoid developing other related mental health conditions. It can also help them to learn healthier ways of coping with how they feel.

Signs of depression in children and teens 

There are many different symptoms of depression. Your child might have a few or many different symptoms. It's important to remember that children of different ages can describe their symptoms differently or may have symptoms different from those of older or younger children. For example, younger children may have more sleep problems or be more irritable. Common signs of depression in children and young people often include:

• feeling sad or having a low mood that doesn’t seem to go away
• seeming irritable or grumpy all the time
• no longer being interested in things they used to enjoy
• being tired or exhausted a lot of the time

Other symptoms can include: 

• trouble sleeping or sleeping more
• difficulty concentrating
• becoming indecisive
• interacting less than normal with family and friends
• low confidence
• eating more or less than usual for them
• big changes in weight (loss or gain)
• trouble relaxing or seeming lethargic
• feeling guilty, worthless, numb, or empty
• thoughts of self-harm
• suicidal thoughts
• self-harm

They may also start to have behaviour problems at school or home, which they didn’t have before.

It's also important to remember that some mood changes, irritability, or withdrawal can also be a part of normal child development. It's when there are multiple, persistent symptoms that it can be a sign that something may be wrong, or additional help may be needed.

Remember: It’s not unusual for someone to have both anxiety and depression. Symptoms of anxiety typically occur first. If you are worried about your child or think they may have anxiety or depression, speak with your GP.

Why is my child depressed?

Different events and life experiences can increase of developing depression. This can include bullying, abuse or family difficulties. If there is a family history of depression or other mental health problems, your child may be more likely to develop depression. Stressful events, feelings of loneliness, and low self-esteem can also play a part.

There may not be a single, obvious cause of depression. A combination of different things can contribute towards depression. There may be a more obvious trigger, like the loss of a loved one. Or it could be a combination of things.

How to help your child with depression 

If you are worried about your child or think they may be depressed, talk with them. They might not understand how they are feeling, might be worried or unsure how to tell someone that they need to talk. Let them know you are here to listen whenever they are ready. It can also be helpful to let them know they can talk to any trusted adult about how they are feeling. Sometimes, opening up to a teacher, grandparent, or family friend may be easier for them. For older children, talking with a friend can also help.

Whatever is worrying them, take it seriously. It might not seem that big or scary to you, but it is affecting how they feel. Let them know that you are there, you care, and you are on their side. Knowing that they have your support and that they won’t feel like this forever can be a big help. Remain calm, be patient, and let them know they can come to you about how they are feeling at any time.

If you are worried or think that they might need more help and support, speak with your GP. Your GP can assess if they think your child might be depressed. They can also refer you to local children and young people’s mental health services (CYPMHS). You might be able to get a referral without seeing your GP. Find out more on the NHS website. 

Self-help and calming techniques

Finding healthy ways to recognise and manage how they are feeling can help. Calming techniques like breathing exercises, practising mindfulness, or yoga can be helpful.

Breathing exercises can help reduce feelings of stress while promoting calm and well-being. Simple breathing techniques can help children and teens to enter a calmer, relaxed state. This can help improve their mood, reduce anxiety, and help them feel more resilient. Deep breathing or 4-7-8 breathing can help to slow your heart rate and reduce anxiety. 

Mindfulness techniques can help children and teens feel more connected with their mind and body. Mindfulness can help them stay focused in the present moment when they start to feel overwhelmed. 

Yoga can help with mood regulation, reduce stress and anxiety, and focus on calming breathing techniques. 

Practising good sleep hygiene can help to improve physical health, enhance mental well-being, and help you to feel more prepared to face the day ahead. Good sleep hygiene (or having a good sleep routine) can reduce stress, improve mood and focus, while supporting your memory and helping manage anxiety, too. 

Research suggests that regular activity can help reduce symptoms of depression, as well as prevent mental health issues in children without symptoms. Physical activity can help to increase energy levels and boost mood. The NHS recommends physical exercise for those with mild or moderate depression. Picking something you enjoy is important, as this can help you to feel more motivated

Healthy routines can help to give structure and focus. These could include setting regular meal times, a predictable bedtime, and balancing physical activities with more fun, relaxing, or enjoyable activities. Having a routine can help children and young people to feel less stressed and uncertain.

Learning more about depression

Learning more about depression and how it can affect your child can help you feel more prepared. The more prepared you feel, the calmer and more ready you may feel when offering support. You might be nervous or unsure how you can help. By learning more, you can start to feel more confident in offering support. 

Remember to look after yourself, too. Looking after yourself isn’t selfish. Self-care can help you feel better prepared to help your child.

Share age-appropriate resources

Knowing what to expect can help older children and teens. Young Minds has created specific guides for teens and young people to help them learn more about how they can reach out for help. They also have information on how teens can speak with their GP about mental health.

Speak with their school 

Some schools and colleges offer extra help and support. For teens, it’s important to involve them in the conversation, too. This is so they feel comfortable about what information is shared. They may have a teacher they would prefer you talk to. 

Knowing when to seek help

If you are worried about how your child or teen is feeling or behaving, it could be time to seek help. It could be time to talk to a professional if:

• they aren’t feeling any better or feel worse
• their feelings are starting to affect their friendships, family life, or school life
• self-help isn’t helping

Your GP, school teacher, school nurse, or social worker can all help put you in touch with children and young people’s mental health services (CYPMHS). Designed to help those aged 18 and under with a wide range of problems, CYPMHS can help children experiencing anxiety and/or depression. In some areas, self-referral is possible.

Working with a qualified, experienced mental health professional can offer children the chance to understand themselves and their experiences. Talking therapy creates a safe, judgement-free space. Here, children and teens can talk about how they are feeling, and learn to make sense of those feelings.

Counselling for children and teens with depression 

Counselling offers children the chance to talk about how they are feeling. Therapy can also help them to make sense of what’s going on in their life and in the world around them. A therapist may be able to help them learn to recognise signs of depression. They can help children to find ways to feel calmer and able to cope in the moment. Children can also learn how to reach out and ask when they need help and support. 

Reaching out to a counsellor or therapist can feel like a big step. You might worry that you have done something wrong, or feel that you should be able to help your child by yourself. Going to therapy isn’t a failing. It’s reaching out and recognising that a little extra help can make a big difference. 

Therapy may be available through your local services as part of CYPMHS. Private sessions with a therapist may allow you to:

• access to different types of therapy that may not be available in your area with the NHS
• have more sessions or more frequent sessions
• access therapy more quickly 

Different kinds of therapy can be helpful for depression. There are many different approaches that can help. Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), group interpersonal psychotherapy (IPT), or family therapy in particular are recommended by NICE guidelines for children and young people with depression. 

Cognitive behavioural therapy

CBT is a type of talking therapy. CBT can help children and teens understand and change unhelpful thought patterns and behaviours that may contribute to their depression. A therapist can help them identify and change unhelpful behaviours and learn new, more positive ones that may be more helpful.

Family therapy

Attachment-based or systemic family therapy is another recommended option. Family therapy provides a judgment-free, structured space for families to discuss their thoughts and feelings. With the help of a therapist to guide the conversation, family therapy can help improve communication, strengthen relationships, and find ways to move forward together. 

Attachment-based family therapy is specifically designed to help children who are depressed. It focuses on repairing the parent-child relationship. This is done through creating a secure attachment and emotional safety net for the child or teen. 

Systemic-based family therapy (or systemic family therapy) is another recommended talk therapy. A therapist helps families view problems as existing within the context of the family ‘system’ rather than as individual issues. They can help you understand how everyone’s behaviour influences each other. They can also help you learn to identify unhealthy dynamics and find new ways of relating and coping together. 

Interpersonal psychotherapy (IPT)

Interpersonal psychotherapy (IPT) is a more time-limited type of therapy. IPT helps people identify and resolve problems in their relationships to help with symptoms of depression. It does this by focusing on the link between depression and interpersonal issues. 

Play therapy

For younger children, play therapy can provide a safe way of expressing how they feel. Play therapy can help kids process their thoughts and experiences without the pressure of talking. A play therapist might use toys and activities to encourage children to express themselves, boost their confidence, and develop problem-solving skills. 

Walk and talk therapy 

Also known as outdoor therapy, walk and talk therapy can be a helpful option for some teens and young people. Taking therapy outdoors and incorporating the environment as part of therapy, some people find that outdoor therapy can help reduce the pressure that traditional face-to-face therapy can make them feel. Having the chance to move around, getting the mood-boosting benefits of natural and physical exercise can help some people to feel less overwhelmed or intimidated by therapy. 

Related topics

• Childhood anxiety
• Child counselling
• Young people’s counselling
• Behaviour problems
• Childhood bereavement
• Childhood bullying
• Children’s learning difficulties
• Separation anxiety
• Attachment disorder in children

Find a therapist for childhood depression 

Ready to start looking for a qualified, experienced therapist who can help your child or teen with depression? Many therapists and counsellors offer support through online, phone, or in-person sessions, making it easier for you to help your child access the help they need. Use our search below to find an online or local counsellor near you.