Child counselling

Being a parent or carer can feel overwhelming at times. All you want is for your child to thrive and be happy, so it can be difficult to see them struggle. But as much as you want to be the person they come to with their worries or problems, it isn’t always possible.

Sometimes, children find it helpful to speak with a professional, like a counsellor or therapist. Together, they can talk about specific worries in a safe, judgement-free space. This helps some children and young people feel more comfortable opening up. Counselling helps children understand their feelings, learn coping skills, and build resilience.

In this video, counsellor Izzy Sturgess explains how child counselling can help and what it offers young people.

What is child counselling?

Child counselling provides mental health support for children, teens, and adolescents. It can involve talking, using art, play, or other creative methods to share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. This can help them understand their current situation or discover new ways to cope with challenges. They might benefit from therapy after a specific big event, like moving schools or the death of a loved one. They might notice that worries have grown over time. Working with a professional can help them understand their feelings and find ways to feel better.

Many children go to counselling as they grow up for various reasons. Helping your child see a counsellor or therapist can be daunting. Many parents fear they’ve done something ‘wrong’. By ensuring your child gets the help and support they need, you’re helping them understand themselves and the world. This also teaches them to manage their emotions and reactions to big changes as they grow.

What does a child counsellor do?

A child counsellor provides a safe space for children and young people. Therapy or counselling sessions let children talk about their worries and feelings. A therapist can help children understand their emotions and develop coping skills to build resilience. They can help with mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. 

Therapy helps children deal with big life events. This includes losing a family member, facing bullying, divorce, or coping with a serious illness. Therapy can also help with ongoing issues, like low self-esteem, or short-term ones, like exam stress. Therapy can help children with learning differences, difficulties, or disabilities. It can also support neurodivergent children. 

Some parts of counselling are the same for everyone. However, each age group faces its own unique issues. So, they may need different approaches. A diploma in child or youth counselling, or a related field, can be reassuring. It shows that your counsellor has the skills needed for your child’s age group. 

What happens in children's therapy?

What happens in therapy depends on the type of therapy and the reasons your child is attending. Some of the things you might expect to happen can include:

• Before you get started. Before or during their first session, your child’s therapist might talk to you. This helps them understand your child’s needs, goals, family, and history better. Using this information, they might suggest specific therapeutic approaches or techniques. This may also involve things you can try at home with your child. 
• Helping your child to explore their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. This could be through talking, playing, creating art, or other creative means. A child therapist lets your child share their feelings at their own pace and in a way that feels right for them. They might use child-led exploration. This means letting children play with toys and art supplies to express themselves. The therapist then follows their lead. 
• Fostering a therapeutic relationship. Building a therapeutic relationship fosters trust. It creates a safe, supportive space and encourages self-discovery and growth. 

With the help of therapy, your child can:

• Develop a better understanding of how they feel, why they feel this way, and how to manage these feelings. 
• Learn skills and strategies to cope with worries and challenges at school, home, and with friends and family.
• Enhance problem-solving skills so they can spot unhelpful thoughts and behaviours. Then, they can replace these with more positive ones.
• Build their confidence through processing things they have experienced. Learning new coping mechanisms and how to trust themselves and their strengths.

What kind of counselling can help children?

There are many different kinds of therapy. Knowing the differences between them and figuring out which one is right for you can be tough. There is no one set ‘best’ kind of therapy for children. What works well for one child might not be as helpful for another. It's important to research your child's needs carefully. Think about what makes them feel comfortable. 

The methods used will depend on the child’s age, situation, and development. Many tools can help children express their feelings better, like play and art. Reading stories and discussing a character's feelings can help kids understand emotions. This, in turn, encourages them to share their own feelings. Also, activities like drawing, painting, or drama let children express themselves better.

Older children may prefer talking therapy, or a mixture of both. Child and adult counselling use different methods, but the goal is the same: to help people understand themselves, cope better, build resilience, and live more fulfilling lives.

Types of child therapy

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) - CBT is a well-known type of talk therapy. It focuses on the connection between thoughts, emotions, and behaviours. CBT encourages children to focus on practical, solution-focused strategies to help manage a wide range of issues. It does this by breaking down difficult situations into smaller, manageable parts. A cognitive behavioural therapist can help your child change unhelpful thoughts and behaviours. They can help them focus on healthier habits and thinking patterns. 

Interpersonal therapy (IPT) - Our relationships can be complex. How we deal with them can impact our mental well-being. IPT explores how relationships affect us and how our mental health can affect our relationships. 

Creative therapies - Creative therapies can include art, dance, drama, music, play, or sand tray therapy. They help children and young people express themselves without words. This can help young children, creative people, and anyone who struggles to express themselves clearly. 

Play therapy - Play therapy helps children find healthier ways to express themselves and make sense of experiences. Some children find that more traditional therapeutic settings can be intimidating or scary. Play therapy can help them feel more relaxed and communicate at their own level and pace. 

Sand tray therapy - Also known as sand play therapy, this involves using sand and small figures. Kids create scenes that show their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Originally used in play therapy, sand play can assist individuals of all ages.

Family therapy - Family therapy helps the whole family. It focuses on understanding, communication, and resolving conflicts in a safe, supportive space. In family therapy, a therapist may work with individuals, small family groups, or the whole extended family.

Family therapy can help with:

• managing separation or divorce
• improving communication
• adjusting to changes like moving or switching schools
• navigating disabilities or chronic illness in the family

Child and adolescent psychotherapy - While some people may use the terms counselling and psychotherapy interchangeably, they offer different kinds of help and support for young people. Counselling is often short-term and problem-focused. Psychotherapy is typically longer and more in-depth, designed to help with more complex or persistent mental health difficulties, including:

• trauma and attachment difficulties
• severe anxiety or depression
• self-harm or eating difficulties
• complex family or developmental issues

A child and adolescent psychotherapist may use similar methods (play, drawing, stories, conversations) to understand how the child's inner world and early relationships are affecting their current behaviour and feelings. A psychotherapist may have additional training.

When should a child get counselling?

There are many different reasons why you might consider therapy for your child. These can be specific mental health issues, major life events, or school problems. Counselling can help children in many ways. It can help them deal with daily worries, manage exam stress, and handle relationship issues with friends, family, and teachers. Counselling can also help with self-harm concerns, grief, depression, anxiety, and learning difficulties. If something is making your child unhappy, it’s important to make sure that they feel heard and receive help. 

There is no right or wrong reason for someone to attend counselling. Sometimes it’s just good to talk to someone objective. Other times, more support may be needed. If your child is being disruptive, their teacher might suggest speaking to someone. 

Common childhood issues

There are many different reasons why your child may benefit from therapy. Some common reasons why children and young people may go to therapy can include:

• adoption counselling for children
• attachment disorder
• blended family
• behaviour problems
• childhood anxiety
• childhood bereavement
• childhood bullying
• childhood depression
• children's learning difficulties
• family issues
• young carers

Will counselling help my child? 

If your child is struggling, counselling can help. It helps them understand their feelings and develop tools to cope with challenges. It can also provide a space to claim as their own, emotionally. Speaking to a counsellor, away from their home and school life, can take away some of the pressure. Counselling provides a safe space for children. They can share their feelings and explore what might have caused them.

How can I find a counsellor or therapist for my child?

Counselling and therapy can be accessed through many different routes. Free sessions may be available through Child and Adolescent Mental Health services in your area. Your school or GP may also be able to signpost local charities or other free services that offer counselling or therapy. Support available varies depending on where you live and what your child needs support with. In some areas, young people may be able to self-refer to services. Find out more about children and young people’s mental health services.

Private therapy is another option. Private therapy often offers shorter wait times and a choice in what kind of therapeutic methods are available. When searching for a private therapist or counsellor, find someone trained to work with your child's or teen's age group and issues. Ask about their experience, work style, and qualifications. This can help you feel more comfortable and confident in the support they offer. 

Working with a therapist who is a member of a professional body ensures that they meet certain requirements. This can include having certain levels of training, experience, and ongoing supervision, as well as that they abide by a code of ethics. This can add an extra level of reassurance and confidence in the professional supporting your child. All professionals on Counselling Directory have provided proof of their registration with a relevant body. 

Further help

• Childline
• NSPCC
• Kidscape
• Young Minds
• Anna Freud

Find a children's counsellor 

Ready to start looking for a qualified, experienced therapist who can help your child or teen? Many therapists and counsellors provide support through online, phone, or in-person sessions. This makes it easier for you to help your child get the help they need. Use our advanced search, or check below to find a local counsellor near you.